Amanda Wikoff
Read this article to learn how to deal with your student’s bad report card without breaking relationships or overreacting.

Part One: Opening the Report Card

1. Take a deep breath.
   1. Try to remember that grades are not the sole indicator of your student’s success. This will help you to react appropriately when the time comes to confront your student.

Tip: If possible, open grades when your student is not around. This will give you time to reflect on what you will say when the time is right to discuss grades (Part Three).

1. Follow directions to open envelope.
   1. This may take some effort as perforated sides can be tricky. Take your time.
2. Take another deep breath to release remaining tension.
   1. Don’t feel bad if you need an extra deep breath before viewing your student’s grades.
3. If grades are good, skip to Part Four.

Part Two: Initial Reaction

1. Draft your “this is your whole future” speech.
   1. It’s okay to be angry when you first opening the report card, but don’t stay angry for long. This is often a good time to think about things you shouldn’t say out loud.
2. Toss the speech. It won’t help anyway.
   1. A lecture from you will make your student less open. Plus, they’ll probably be expecting it. Try a different approach and surprise your student with grace and understanding.

Tip: Students often respond best to non-accusatory language. Try not to turn a discussion into a battle by being careful with your words, especially if you are angry.

Part Three: Discussing the Report Card

1. Seek understanding. There are many possible reasons for a bad grade. Try to understand what caused the disappointing report card.

1. Seek to understand where your student is coming from. Did they make an effort? Were they struggling to understand class content? Have there been distractions in their life outside of school?
1. Evaluate your expectations. Is this a bad report card, or are your expectations for your student too high?
   1. It can help to discuss this with your student. Do they feel your expectations are too high? If so, how can you make them more realistic. If not, what is preventing your student from meeting those expectations?
2. Ask how you could have helped/can help in the future.
   1. Sometimes all students need is some support or accountability. Ask how you can help so the next report card doesn’t look so bad.
3. Discuss consequences.
   1. Whether your student likes it or not there are consequences in life. You are the parent, so make those consequences clear but gracious based on your conversation so far.

Part Four: Ice Cream

1. Everyone needs ice cream after a report card.
   1. If the report card was bad, make this a time to forget about it. If it was good, celebrate it!

Tip: Reconcile with your student and have a good time together over ice cream. After all, being sour about a bad report card won’t be fun for either of you.